"Boy oh boy can I just imagine what that may feel like.
The doctor not only cuts into your knee, making a large incision through the tissues, muscles, and bone to get to the kneecap and patella but also cuts the femur to match the replacement metal femoral component. And then, (in my mind) it's shoved in there like a bolt, jostling it around to make sure it's "In". Aha! Chills down my spine."
I have been a witness and support provider to my mom who has now had her 2nd knee replaced, During times when a loved one or a friend is going to the hospital for a surgery big or small there are ways one can bring nourishment to them before, during, and after the procedure.
It is such a beautiful and giving experience to assist someone, during their healing journey. There are challenges both the patient and the care provider go through, especially if you are unfamiliar with who they are as a person. As a care provider one plays many roles. This for me is especially true as an herbalist and healing facilitator and daughter. Today I'm writing to share my experiences with my mom's knee surgery and some pointers I have found that are most helpful for both helper and patient for before, during and after surgery.
Pre-care
It is a blessing that I was able to be with my mom before her surgery to connect with her.
Before a someone goes into surgery there is a myriad of emotions that they are processing. Not everyone feels comfortable reaching out so make the effort to be a listening ear. What do they think about their surgery? Listen to cue words to get a better understanding of where they are at emotionally. What are they expecting, what are their fears, what is their motivation?
As an herbalist, I bring with me some of my apothecary to bring additional support. I respect my mom's and her doctor's wishes and never try to bring heroic herbs forward. If they are so inclined offer coming up with an empowering or healing mantra that can be chanted in times of need.
Some botanical medicines I like to share:
- Flower essences (5 flower formula is a easy choice)
- Arnica/Calendula salve or oil
- Arnica homeopathic tablets
- Lavender essential oil spray (or any scent of their preference),
- Osteo Tea: Blend of Nettles, Oatstraw, Comfrey leaf, & Peppermint
*During this kind of acute situation it's best to use nourishing herbs to support the care one is already receiving from their surgeon or doctor. They have many procedures they ask patients to do pre-op,, be mindful of these.
This is a good time before the surgery to do a self check. As energetic being who will also be working closely with someone it is a good practice to tune into where you are too. We are there to be their rock, their cheerleader, and a healing facilitator.Stay grounded and open to your needs to. I bring my flower formula I created for me during this time. It is good to know when it's best to take a break and regroup with yourself. Maybe go for a walk or go for a swim. Keep yourself healthy (body, mind, and spirit).
It's very important to me to :
"Be strong and flexible like bamboo, who can bend with the wind"
We are not here to put extra demands on them, nor trying to dominate by telling them how they should be doing this or that. This will come up more so during the post op, when they are doing physical therapy. The best support they need is unconditional love and support and someone who can notice the details that they too may forget. Our own thoughts should be kept to ourselves.
During Surgery
Before you arrive to hospital, give yourself a game plan to keep you busy during the waiting time. You won't be able to see them until they get to their room once they go in, unless you push. But it's usually best to let your friend rest up, they are on lot of pain medication anyways! What works best for me is to bring a bag of water, spritzer, snacks, tablet, and book. My dad is one to walk around the hospital and make visits to the gift shop and cafe.
The surgery goes pretty quickly the whole process takes some time. My mom went into the hospital at 6am in the morning, was done with her surgery by lets say 9:30ish, but did not get a room until 5pm due to high volume at the hospital at the time.
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Post Surgery In Hospital
Mom was in the hospital for 2 nights and 3 days. Though I do not stay the night (there was not enough room for both my dad and I) I stay with my mom pretty much from sunrise to sunset. The first night I organize her room, brightening the space with flowers, enlivening the room with lavender spray and bringing personal items close by.
The doctors want you to move your knee right away so the knee won't freeze up. Before the Physical Therapists comes in ask if she would like to freshen up since she can't shower yet. **This is a great tip for others, how would you like to be treated in this moment, what would make you feel alive, healed & vibrant? Now, this won't be the same as them but at least you can put yourself in their shoes and offer :
- Warm up a wash cloth and let them wash their face
- Let them brush their teeth
- Help them with their hair
- Would they like to put some makeup on, deodorant, spray?
This is a good time after the therapist leaves to quietly connect. I spritz my mom with the lavender spray and have her take deep breaths in. I smudge her without smoke and tune into to the energy and lay hands on her.
Due to the drugs and the intensity of pain it's not the best idea to ask to many questions or to expect them to be lively. Though laughter is healing, so is peace and quiet. Go with the flow and pay attention to details. I like to offer gentle foot rubs, rubbing oil on their hands and legs, fluff up their pillows, and other little things that I know my mom enjoys.
Post Surgery 1st Week Home
The first days home are most crucial. This is when the most vulnerability is seen. At the hospital there was a safety net and now that safety net is gone. With an open heart let them share their vulnerability but instead of passive responses give them encouragement and chances to feel empowered.
One also needs to be aware of signs of infection ( foul smelly puss, fever) as well as having the home ready for their care. The hospitals hook you up with at home assistant tools if you don't already have them. This can include things like a walker, toilet seat, bandages, and saline solution to name a few. It is also a good idea to pick up the pain meds on the way home or have someone grab them before the hospital medication dulls down.
It is hard to be fully prepared for at home care because there are some things that you can't change and you just have to be patient and creative. For example sitting higher up is best but at my parent's home their seating is lower to the ground making it more challenging to get up and down. Or no hand rails in the shower.
There is also a fine balance of giving them their independence with grace and dignity and doing for them. For some it may be easier to do for them but this does not help them in the long run. In the beginning it's okay, they are probably afraid of being home away from the nurses and powerful drugs, so ease them into things and slowly give them the ability to grow confident in doing for themselves. For knee surgery they want you to be bending that knee and not favoring it when walking, so at home it is best to make sure they are following physical therapy protocols.
Nourishing tea blends are a great way to give herbs when someone is on many medications. Since it was June and I was in Las Vegas when I was helping my mom, I made her a refreshing non alcoholic herbal mojitos. The herbal blend for was for revitalizing her body with minerals and vitamins, supporting bone, tissue, and muscle health. It consists of Nettles, Oatstraw, Comfrey Leaf and Peppermint.
Keep an eye out or ask them about their bowel movements. Due to the drugs they are on and usually the addition of iron supplements from the doctor the bowels get backed up and there is need for digestive support. Water, water, water! This is the simplest first step. What are they eating, I started my mom with a morning cup of water with a splash of Brags Raw Apple Cider Vinegar and a dash of honey. This is before any food is put into the body and it did the trick!
Herbs work great with diminishing the bruising. I used an Arnica ointment because I left my Arnica oil at home. Rubbing that on for them up and down the leg not only helps keep the skin moist it also helps reduce inflammation and bruising. Remember what the doc said, nothing directly on the incision, only the saline.
May this be a guide for you healing journey.
Please feel free to reach out to me If you are looking for some extra care during your surgery. [email protected]
Do you have some suggestions, leave us a comment.
Blessings!